Can a Prostitute become a "Good" wife?

Can a Prostitute Make a GOOD Wife?

Why selling your body kills something you will never fully get back

Recently, a question was asked on Facebook:

“Can a prostitute make a good wife?”

My answer was – and still is – categorically NO.

Not:

• “Can she get married?” – yes, many do.
• “Can she treat a man well, cook, clean, support him?” – yes, she can.

The question was not: Can she be a wife? The question was: Can she be a GOOD wife?

That is a completely different beast.

To understand why my answer is no, we have to look at what a woman has to turn off inside herself to live as a prostitute – and what that does to her soul, her body, and her future intimacy.

 

1. What Has to Die for a Woman to Sell Her Body

Real lovemaking is not just friction. It was designed to carry:

• love,
• caring,
• nurturing,
• respect,
• a kind of naked honesty that goes deeper than flesh.

For a woman to become a prostitute – whether in a brothel, online, or “in plain sight” – she has to switch this off on purpose.

She must train herself to:

• separate her body from her heart,
• treat her most intimate parts as a product,
• reduce something sacred to a service,
• perform pleasure when there is no love, no safety, no real choice.

That is not a moral slogan. That is survival technique.

You cannot live that life and keep your inner world untouched. To survive it, she has to kill or bury something very deep:

the part of her that wants to attach, to trust, to believe she is worth more than money.

 

2. Training Yourself to Switch Off – Until It Becomes Automatic

Selling sex once already does damage. Selling sex hundreds or thousands of times turns it into a system.

Each time she:

• disconnects from her feelings,
• overrides disgust, fear, boredom, pain,
• delivers a “service” while her soul hides in a corner,

she is reinforcing one message inside:

“My body is not me. My ‘no’ does not matter. This is just business.”

Over time, the “switch” is no longer a conscious choice. It becomes a reflex:

• Sex = turn off the heart.
• Touch = leave your body mentally.
• Intimacy = a job, not a gift.

💡 FACT: Trauma research shows that people who repeatedly endure unwanted or mechanical sex often use dissociation – mentally “leaving” their body – as a survival strategy. Over time, this can become automatic, making genuine emotional presence during sex very difficult even in safe relationships.

 

3. Prostitution in Plain Sight: Not Just in Brothels

When people hear “prostitute”, they picture a brothel, a red‑light window, a street corner.

But there are many more prostitutes outside in plain sight than in whorehouses.

The moment you:

• sleep with a man for financial gain,
• or for rent, lifestyle, status, opportunities, clothes, travel, favors,
• or anything other than a contemplated, committed relationship,

you have engaged in prostitution in principle.

You may dress it up:

• “He helps me, so of course I give him something.”
• “It’s just sugar dating.”
• “Everybody does it, I’d be stupid not to.”

But the mechanism is identical:

Sex in exchange for material benefit = prostitution, no matter how elegant the hotel is.

And each time you cross that line, it becomes:

• easier to do again,
• harder to feel your own worth without a transaction.

Step by step, you lose your Self. Finding her again becomes like looking for a needle in a very big haystack.

 

4. “But She Can Change, Right?” – Good Wife vs. Wife

People will say:

• “But she can change.”
• “God can forgive.”
• “A man can marry her and love her.”

I am not arguing that she cannot marry. I am not saying she cannot be kind, loyal, sacrificial in many ways.

I am answering the exact question that was asked:

Can a prostitute make a GOOD wife?

A good wife is not just:

• someone who cooks,
• keeps the house,
• respects her husband in public.

A good wife is:

• emotionally present in intimacy,
• able to give herself without splitting in half inside,
• able to attach deeply without a crowd of ghosts in the room,
• able to experience sex as a sacred union, not a transaction.

Now imagine:

• you are making love to her,
• and in her nervous system are the imprints of hundreds of men,
• each encounter tied to money, survival, humiliation, or numbness.

Do you really believe that for the rest of her life:

• no memories will surface?
• no smells, images, flashes will intrude?
• no comparisons will arise between you and the others?

Unless you can wipe her memory completely clean – which is impossible – the past will visit your marriage bed.

She can pretend. She can act. She can try. But inside, she is wrestling with an archive that you can never fully enter or erase.

From that reality, I stand by my answer: No, she cannot be a genuinely GOOD wife in the deep sense of the word.

 

5. This Is Not an Insult – It Is a Warning

Read this carefully:

I am not calling any woman garbage. I am not denying that many prostitutes were forced by poverty, abuse, or manipulation.

What I am saying is:

• There is something extremely sacred in a woman’s sexuality.
• To turn it into a business, she has to kill or bury that sacred core.
• Once she trains herself to do that over and over, the “genuine woman” – the one who could give herself clean and whole – is effectively gone.

Not erased from God’s love. Not beyond all human compassion. But deeply, structurally damaged when it comes to holy, lifelong intimacy.

And my message is aimed especially at:

• women who are considering this path as a “smart” way to live,
• women who think, “I can do this for a while and then be normal again”,
• women who are slowly sliding into transactional sex without naming it.

To you I am saying: think again.

 

6. Losing Yourself Is Easy – Finding Her Again Is Like a Needle in a Haystack

Every time you cross the line of:

• “I will use my body as payment for what I want,”

you sharpen a blade against your own soul.

In the beginning, you may hear a strong inner protest:

• shame,
• disgust,
• fear,
• sadness.

If you keep going, those voices get quieter. Not because you are free – because you are numb.

One day, you look in the mirror and realize:

• you don’t know where your “no” is anymore,
• you don’t know how to feel loved without being bought,
• you don’t know how to be naked without being on stage.

Can healing start? Yes. But it will be like looking for a needle in a massive haystack:

• years of therapy,
• deep spiritual work,
• brutal honesty,
• a partner with extraordinary patience and strength.

And let’s be honest about what that last part really means.

A partner with “extraordinary patience and strength” is not just a man who says, “I accept your past.”

In practice, it means:

• He will have to walk with you through the memories – the pain, the shame, the violence, the disgust.
• He will, in a way, relive those experiences with you as they surface: in flashbacks, in tears, in shutdowns during intimacy.
• He must love you while knowing that, in your body and your mind, there are hundreds of other men who have been there before him.

Very few men can handle that day after day, year after year.

And it gets harder still:

• Every argument carries a hidden bomb.
• In moments of anger, frustration, or insecurity, there is always the temptation to say:
  • “Don’t forget where I took you from,”
  • “I cleaned you up,”
  • “You were a prostitute when I met you.”

Once those words are thrown, they cut to the absolute core of her shame. The man who was supposed to cover and heal her becomes the one who reopens the wound.

So when we say “she needs a partner with extraordinary patience and strength,” understand:

• We are talking about a man rare in character,
• who must fight not only her past, but also his own ego, jealousy, and anger,
• and who must choose, again and again, not to weaponize where she came from.

For some, that journey will be possible. But many couples will not survive that pressure cooker.

 

7. Before You Sell Yourself, Count the Cost

The Facebook question was simple:

“Can a prostitute make a GOOD wife?”

My answer remains:

No.

She can marry. She can be kind. She can act the role. But the deep, clean, undivided intimacy that defines a truly good wife is almost impossible once you have trained yourself professionally to split your body from your soul.

This is not to condemn the ones already in it. It is to warn those still on the edge.

Your body is not just flesh. Your sexuality is not just a hustle. Once you trade it as a product, what dies inside you will cost you more than the money could ever pay.

Before you sell yourself, count the cost.